Songwriting alchemist Mark Eitzel turns dread into Golden

You were a punk.

I was a punk at 18. It makes you happy to challenge yourself and see yourself as a freak. Any kind of creative person, there's always a problem with you and the other, you and the world outside. As a musician, you have to decide all the time to say, "Get out of my way. You're in my fucking way." But if you're sensitive and you're open, it's kind of fucked up. I've got no one to blame but myself. I should have never played dark music. I used to really love Jonathan Richman. He changed after doing two of the most perfect albums ever — The Modern Lovers and The Original Modern Lovers — and then he said, "Those were too dark. I'm going to write about snowmen." He's a fucking genius for that. I didn't like those songs, though.

Do you like those songs better now?

No.

What about all the years you've spent being publicly down on yourself?

Never be self-effacing. No one understands it. It was always a complete joke. I did an interview with an online magazine and played a song for the camera. I did the whole thing. Nice man did the interview. He did a really great job. I think at one point I said, off the cuff, "I know basically I suck, but this song is blah, blah, blah." And, of course, the headline was that I think I suck.

What's your best quality?

It's my legs and my eyes. Really. I've got gams. Please.