The Shawnee Mission East class of '08 loves its gay homecoming king

He explains the near melee in a rush of words, recalling a game during his freshman year. The Lancers played at South that night and won by something like 20 points. The East students rushed the floor and chaos erupted — he had to pull a cheerleader away while trying to protect his squadmates. "I saw it [happening] again, and said, Not senior year."

As it turned out, Matthew's senior year has been nothing like his freshman one.

At the homecoming dance last October, Matthew stood on the platform stage in the East gym. He was nervous and excited. His friend Sarah Jones, whom he knew from cheerleading, stood by his side and gripped his hand tightly. The gym was hot, and the lights shone brightly onto the homecoming king and queen candidates.

Matthew sported black tux pants, a black button-down shirt and his brother's bright-pink tie. A mass of people crowded the stage as if they were at a concert. He waved to friends. His mom, Teri, a nurse at Olathe Medical Center, stood to one side. He spotted two of his best friends, Serena Verden and Jessica Perbeck, in the middle of the crowd. His boyfriend, James Castle, was resplendent in a black Armani suit and a red tie.

The theme of the dance was "A Knight in Hollywood" — a play on East's Lancer mascot. Balloons and streamers in the school colors hung from the ceiling and on the walls of the gym and in the hallway. Pictures of celebrities lined the walls, and a red carpet created a path from the school's doorway into the gym.

Matthew had been dreaming of this moment since his freshman year. To him, it represented a level of acceptance by his peers. In previous years, friends lost out on the crown because they were into theater or choir. He believed, though, that the students in all four grades accepted him for being a theater person and a singer in the choir — and for being gay.

When Matthew came out at the beginning of his freshman year, he was terrified that he'd lose longtime friends or be harassed. He got a few nasty comments during freshman and sophomore years, and he got into a fight at a Shawnee Mission North homecoming after-party over being gay. But he found, to his surprise, that his experience coming out was generally really cool.

A lot of things are "really cool" to Matthew. He has a sweet demeanor and a friendly face to match. He's the guy who says hi to you in the hallways, which helped him win votes for homecoming king. "A lot of people came up to me and said, 'Oh, I nominated you because you said hi to me that one time — you're just so nice,'" he says. "I say hi to everyone. I want people to feel nice when they're walking ... I think it's good for people to be, like, acknowledged instead of just kind of pushed away."

He first started questioning his sexuality in eighth grade. Before that, he loved girls. "I was all for the girls," he said. But then he started to ask himself, "Am I?" And at the end of the school year, he realized, "Yeah, I am."

After that, he didn't want to waste any time trying to hide it. "It's hard not to talk about it or be who you are, so I'm going to go right out and say it," he told himself. He started coming out to close friends and their families, and the mom of a good friend suggested that it was time to tell his own family — especially his mom. "She needs to know. She needs to find out from you," his friend's mom said as she held his hand.

Matthew and his family are extremely close. He grew up in Fairway, the youngest of three. His brother, Michael, was a senior when Matthew was a freshman. Matthew was friends with a lot of older kids. He had to grow up fast — his parents had to work long hours — and he had a level of independence that the other kids didn't. He recalls that when he was 5 years old, he was allowed to ride his bike to the Prairie Village Shops by himself.

Five years older than Matthew, Katie is the big sister who's also a best friend. She was also the first family member he came out to. He didn't know her views on homosexuality, and he was scared that he would disappoint her.

After his friend's mom suggested that he tell his family, Matthew called Katie and asked for a ride. He got into her little silver car, and before they even left the friend's driveway, he started weeping. "I have to tell you something," he said.

Katie thought something horrible had happened. He told her, and Katie burst into tears.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" she cried. "Why would you think that would change how I feel about you? You're my brother. I love you."

After recovering a bit, she even managed to make a joke. "Now I have someone to go shopping with!"